[3:37 p.m.] - [2008-04-23]
I've never wanted to kiss anyone before. I'm just not comfortable with it. Not that I'm grossed out by the idea, for I have no problem with playing voyeur to that sort of PDA, but practicing it for myself is another matter.
I've kissed one boy and I hated it. I only did it because he would have grown concerned if we had dated for three months and never kissed. The only way I could go through with it was to treat it as clinically as possible, but the longer this went the more I shied away.
It's always been that way. I never had any true desire to kiss any of the boys that I had liked. Until Beau. I dreamed about kissing him, how I would gently suck and nibble on his bottom lip until it was full and red.
I'm not sure what's more ironic, him not wanting to kiss me or the fact that he truly does but chose not to pursue that path anyway.
recent entries:
adieu - 2008-08-11
like fire - 2008-06-09
liar by omission - 2008-06-05
these thoughts - 2008-06-04
look but don't touch - 2008-06-03